In Remembrance began as a way to express the grief I felt after my Grandma Carter passed following a long battle with cancer during the summer of 2004. I had been very close with her and spent many summers at her home in northern Ohio. I miss her deeply to this day.
The following year was spent completing my photography degree, which required a two semester commercial photography course (Applied Photography). The older images here (c. 2005) are a portion of that final portfolio which was completed for my graduation requirement. During the length of the course, I ascertained that these images were editorial portraits.
The work was resurrected in December 2015 after I attended a workshop entitled Voice into Vision with Cig Harvey. I never felt that this project had truly found closure and sought to find some answers about how to expand the imagery. I soon realized (after a decade) that the images I had created were exploring the personal loss and grief I had been experiencing, utilizing models as surrogates for my own self. As a result, many of the images have assumed new titles.
At the time, I was deeply depressed as a result of unexpectedly losing three family members in the course of a year. Then, less than a month before Cig's workshop, I received news that my estranged father had died. This brought about a completely different set of feelings in regard to the death of family and the loss of 'home'.
After a long period of processing my feelings, I finally began to make images again during this past summer. I am currently exploring my feelings of helplessness, sadness, isolation, loneliness, depression, and anxiety through my landscape and narrative tableau imagery.
I am navigating these periods of unknowing in an attempt to work through my grief and come to some kind of understanding, whatever that may be. I am a work in progress.
I thank those who have carried me through these difficult times, those who have shared their own experiences, and those who I have loved.
In Remembrance of You
© Chrystal Nause Photography